Changing Directions

 

 

 

New Year's Day January 1, 2015

age 39, size medium tops, size 8 dress/pant size, 161.5 pounds

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time flies.  Often times I wish life would slow down because everything seems so fast paced and I find myself struggling trying to keep up.  Then there are times where life can't move along faster (longing for the end of school year aka summer break).  I've fully yet to learn to leave it all in God's hands/take life as it comes and I'm convinced it's the primary reason for stress and anxiety.  I made alot of poor personal choices in 2014, and being that I know better then I ought to do better.  Thought that approaching 40 I'd have myself "more together", but I'm optimistic and know I'm a work in progress. 

 

Some people believe making New Year Resolutions are a waste of time.  Maybe because there are goals set forth but never achieved then later deemed "unrealistic"?  I digress, but he reason I've failed in achieving some is for one I never had a proper plan in place.  Creating that plan takes setting aside the time to plan, focus, motivation, and patience.  The resolution/goals also have to be measureable.  My resolutions are attainable, but I need to secure a plan in place to ensure they are measureable because I've ALREADY broken a few smh....here goes: 

 

Resolutions 2015

1. Prepared on Saturday night to make it to church ON TIME EVERY SUNDAY
2. Current on mortgage
3. Stay on top of children's grades
4. Medical Bills Paid Off
5. Tithe
6. Paint/Repair boys' bathroom
7. Finish Deck
8. Repair damages in my home office
9. Make time to sketch and sew once at least once a month
10. Read bible daily
11. No procrastination
12. Kitchen Repairs
13. Plan a family vacation/couple vacation
14. E.N.C. (personal)
15. Be more patient/speak more calmly to children

And bear in mind this is a "running list", but I think once I get measures in place it'll be enough to keep me occupied.  Hmmm....on second thought, I've leave it at this.  Cool, I just noticed 15 resolutions for the 2015 year.  I also just realized how I didn't include exercise more/eat healthy.  I admit I like that fact because those things are already incorporated in my "normal" routine.  I've literally been on a 15 year weight management journey, and though I don't necessarily feel like I'm "out of the woods" I do have a fairly decent handle.

 

 

Having said that, I'm going to close out this blog.  I need to really shift my focus on my personal and family relationship with Christ.  I'm certain everything else will definitely fall into place.  I'm grateful for God's mercy for not giving up on me.  Life is filled with so many ups and downs, but so much stuff we tend to bring upon ourselves.  I'm not certain if I'll create another blog.  The one I really need to create is one focusing on financial freedom. Benificial, but the thought of it bores me to tears lol.  The other one I'd passionately like to return to is my other blog Sew Determined.  Excuses suck, but it's challenging finding the time to devote to it.  OAN, I really love the motivational poster below, and the way it can apply to anything in life.

 

 

My highest and lowest weight on the Phentermine Journey
July 2013- 206 lbs
August 2014- 154 lbs



My lowest weight while on the Phentermine journey was 154 lbs.  It was a bit startling to see my weight reach to a point I hadn't seen in well over 2 decades.  Lemme tell you I didn't stay that size very long either.  I think I'd completely cut sugar out and even went a day or two not consuming meat.  Prior to getting down to that size I thought I was gaining too much weight Summer 2014.  Looking back, I don't know.  I know I went swimsuit shopping but had the PMS bloat and became discouraged.  I began the Phentermine again and lost 14 pounds in one month.  I felt frail and had the whole bobblehead thing going.  The Phen also caused my blood pressure to skyrocket which worried me because I was taking it while not under my doctor's supervision.  So after 18 days of a 30 day rx, I quit taking them.  I like to think definitely for good.  I'm grateful for the results they provided me, but taking weightloss meds not fully knowing the long term effects just doesn't sit well with me.  I've managed to maintain my weight between 161.5-165.  I had a little gain between the Thanksgiving and Christmas months, but I've worked them off being that I'm off 2 weeks for the winter break.  The new gym I joined somehow sent my body into a shock where the pounds fell off.  I still struggle with a few target areas such as my midsection, but all in all my weight insecurites no longer hover over my head like it used to.  The key to maintaining my weight is monitoring caloric intake, better food choices, incorporating my 100 minute fitness regimen (weights, cardio, sauna), and the occasional hour long jog/running the benches at the track.  My weight is ideal, my BMI is normal, mission accomplished, and having said that I'm out.  Adios!

 

7 Months Post Phentermine

Wow, it's been exactly 6 months since my last blog post.  I've been sooo B-U-S-Y that life has been almost a blur.  I'm relieved to share that I survived Christmas, New Years, our wedding anniversary getaway, my birthday, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and Cinco de Mayo without doing too much damage OMG!  It hasn't been easy but not too hard either. I've allowed certain foods back into my diet like ice cream with all the add-ins, cheeseburgers, wine, breads, and sometimes cake but only in moderation.  I'm still off pork and sweetened drinks.  Lo and behold the weight slowly crept up, but not yet extreme.  I first noticed late March when the weight creeping back and I was starting to lose focus so I'm trying to get things back on track. 

 

One thing I'm trying to ensure is to maintain a 4x per week exercise regimen.  I tried reverting back to counting calories but it's so tedious and time consuming.  It would be to my benefit to do so but I feel I'm micromanaging this ongoing journey enough as it is.  Here in the last week I amped up things up by incorporating the stair master.  NOW THAT is a workout in itself.  I only do 10 minutes of it, but I burn 100 calories and completely drenched in sweat when finished.  Another thing I recently started doing is lifting weights first before cardio AND allowing myself more time for it.  I read somewhere you'll get better results doing so.  I'd previously spend 35 minutes treadmill, 10 minutes on the eliptical, and 10 minutes weight lifting.  Now I  try to do 20-30 weight lifting, 35 minutes treadmill, 10 minutes stair climber, and 10 minutes eliptical.  I feel great when finished, but I have to confess exhausted at the end of my work day.  My personal life is in somewhat chaos, and I often find myself unhappy.  I try to remain optimistic, remind myself  how blessed I am, and just continue to keep pressing.  Those certain factors are controllable but it's up to me to get a handle, and prayerfully I'm determined.

Looking at the chart I'm not doing too bad with my 40+ overall weightloss since I started keeping record of my highest recorded body measurements.  December 2013 seemed to be a good month for me weight management-wise, and since I've increased the workout duration I think things will be fine.  I'm a bit concerned about summer because I'll be home, and I have the tendency to snack all day.  Last summer I exercised, but continued to gain weight until I started taking the Phentermine July 12th.  Hopefully, I'll have a handle.  I have PLENTY of projects that will keep me busy....

6 Week Post Phentermine Update



 

I'm maintaining my weight fairly well considering the fact I've had a few minor binge eating episodes.  I'm also dealing with some personal issues that's eating at me, but I believe I'm getting a handle on them.   I have to admit to feeling very overwhelmed.  Last week my calories averaged nearly 2000 per day.  Even worse I only exercised 1 1/2 days. I know it's a result of my poor coping skills, but I'm in the process of regrouping and more self-aware.  The above picture was taken yesterday-- 14 years after giving birth to my firstborn.  I remember my post partum weight being around 215 pounds November 1999 I believe but was convinced the baby weight would "fall off" the way it happened with my college roomate (who was 19 when she had given birth).  That was so not the case and so began my yo-yo dieting journey.  I did manage to lose some of the weight thru diet and exercise, but lo and behold I became pregnant with my 2nd child December 2000 and the process started all over again.  My goal is to maintain a weight between 160-165 pounds, and judging by the photo I defiitely need some help in the toning department.

 



Friends and siblings celebrating my oldest son's (seated teal shirt) 14th birthday!



Welp, the foods served at my son's birthday gathering got the best of me! I'm not all and out disappointed with myself, but I wish I had showed a bit more self-control. I found myself stuffing myself only because the food was there and not necessarily because I was hungry. His birthday was one serious cheat day and my weight today reflected 165 lbs.! A weight I haven't seen in nearly a month. Well today is a new day and I am getting back on track....

Okay so I've made it thru all 3 children's birthdays, halloween, and next stop Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years! Lord willing I'm allowed to live to see these upcoming days, I want to exercise discipline and moderation.







1 Month Post Phentermine Update

Halloween 2013
163 lbs.

One month Post-Phentermine I somewhat managed to not make this year's Halloween a complete epic fail! I tried to refrain, but my dad brought candy for the children, and yes I indulged.  His defense for not purposely sabotaging my efforts is that the treats are for the children and not me as if my hyper children need sweets, lol!! Well, I indulged that Thursday AND Friday evening.  The guilt hit me so hard that I had my husband get rid of it all (even though there was little to get rid of omg, smh).  Times past whenever I'd have weight loss success, the holidays starting with Halloween would always be the starting point of when my weightloss efforts decline.  This continues ALL the way into the New Year.  Even though I can feel the day to day and Holiday stress approaching, prayerfully I'll have a handle on things.

I really had my concerns because just as I managed to lose 20 pounds the first month while on Phen, I wondered if I would easily gain one month off!  My appetite has returned, but nowhere near what it was in July which is possibly attributed to my stomach now shrunken.  My doctor's appointment is scheduled next month, so I'm uncertain if the drug is still in my system.  I caved in and not only increased my daily calories by quite a few hundred, but I've also allowed foods previously not allowed in my diet such as cheeseburger, french fries, indulged in sweets, and a mega bite of my hubs italian sandwich (pepperoni + salami) along with potato chips.  One thing I have to admit was how it was sooooooooooooo good, but hopefully I'll get a better handle on things and will try not to let my calories exceed 1500/per day.  Seriously at one point last week, I couldn't stop eating so I just gave up even counting the calories SMH!  I still managed to work out 3X which is still a good thing. 


The picture shown above is a comparison shot of my October measurements a couple of days after I ended the Phen compared to being off of it a month.  I wasn't sure what to expect until after I compared both pics. The tricky part I'm trying to closely monitor is the gradual weight gain creep.  It used to get me every time, lol!!  I did suprisingly manage not to gain in any of the areas, so hopefully I can keep this up!  I set 160 pounds as my goal weight, but I'll be content if I can stay between 160-165.  My absolute limit is 170, maybe 175 but nothing more!

 

 Two things that are current staples in my diet and my absolute favorites pomegranates and the fiber one 90 calorie carmel chocolate pretzel bars. I really need a life because that is the highlight of getting off work and coming home to eat those things!  It really does beat leaving work and eating the huge 2 layer oreo cake like I used to do, so hey!  I once had a pomegranante YEARS ago found trying to eat the fruit very difficult and messy so I refused to ever buy one again.  Well while grocery shopping a few weeks ago, my son begged me to buy one.  My husband cut it up so I decided to give it another go.  It looked so good.  Well this time around, spitting out the seeds were a bit annoying but not so bad.  Something clicked so I did a little research to see if the seeds were edible.  Well I found out they were and even beneficial so voila!  I now eat the fruit seeds and all!

 

 

Regarding whether or not the weight loss has improved my attitude.  It's hard to say.  Overall I'm elated with the results, but it sometimes feels weird being asked about it several times a day IDK.  Overall outlook and moods?  Sorta going thru the motions right now, but I know that's part of life.  It feels good not having to concern myself with being overweight, but now it seems I'm overly concerned with maintaining.  Such narcissism!  Hopefully, that too shall pass. I'm a work in progress...

 

 

I never did get around to posting myself in last week's 1995 teal green sheath dress I can now fit.  I was so anxious to get out of it last Sunday so I could eat that I didn't wait around to take pics, lol!  I'll do it sometime this week and will upload it with the 1996/2013 picture of me in it.  Milestone for me I have to confess!



Maintaining Post Phentermine

17 days Post Phentermine
October 19, 2013

 

I'm excited and somewhat suprised to share that I am maintaining my weight post-Phentermine. Actually I've lost a few pounds since weigh-in 2 weeks ago.  I was a bit concerned with the cravings I experienced when I ended the Phentermine run, but it was all related to PMS I'm certain.  I've managed to still record my daily calories increasing them by a few hundred each day.  Doing so actually suprised me that I'm still losing.  I've allowed myself to indulge in a few sweets, but really not much.  My diet still mainly consists of turkey, chicken, fish, and occasionally beef.  Sugary drinks aside from occasional orange juice are still off limits.  The 5X a week scheduled workouts are proving to still be very challenging, so lately its only been 3 days a week.  My next plan for November will hopefully be to start with a fitness trainer.  I really want to tighten up my arms and flabby stomach. Overall I'm content because I like what I see in the mirror, and it was sooo satisfying having to shop for SMALLER bras and clothing.  My weight has come down from a size 16/18 to a size 10/12 and I love it!  It's also brought about a possible dream job opportunity that I'm PRAYING will work out.  Icing on the cake was that I found a size 10 sheath dress that I've held onto since at least 1995.  The cut is classic so it's really not dated (at least I don't think) lol! I plan on wearing that 18 year old dress tomorrow woooot-woooot!  I've never ever been able to fit it I'm certain since 1996!!  I'll try to post 1996 and the current pics tomorrow!

 

Phentermine Week 12



Phentermine Week1

Sorry I'm late posting, but things have been so very busy.  I'm still in awe regarding my 12 week/40 pound weight loss.  Struggling to find clothes in my closet that aren't to big has never been an issue, but it's now one!!  Having the tendency to be somewhat shy, I have to admit I'm a little flattered by the attention by the younger and older.  The weightloss was such a success that I need to purchase nearly an entire new wardrobe, BUT I'm still hesitant since I'm  officially off the Phentermine.  The doctor prescribed another 30 day refill, but after taking 62 days worth (2 months/2 days) I feel it's time to give my body a break. 

Even though I've reached my weight loss goal, I've got a few new challenges set forth which are maintaining and toning!  I've been monitoring fairly heavily and haven't noticed much change in terms of weight gain in the 10 or so days I've been off.  I've sorta slacked just a bit counting calories, and working out 5X per week has proven to be very challenging so maybe that may explain why my weight gain has fluctuated 1- 2.5 lbs. since being off?  I think that it may be attributed to PMS symptoms since I did end my Phentermine run a few days before the start of my cyle.  I noticed that my appetite had increased, and all I wanted was Mexican Food (major PMS craving).  Another thing I noticed was the extreme fatigue which I'm uncertain is related to PMS or a side effect from no longer using the medication.  Back to maintaining and toning--  I understand there are lifestyle changes that will need to be incorporated into my life, but I have to ask myself do I really have a full understanding?  All I know is that I'm terrified of reverting back to old habits, and I try my best to avoid them all.  Seems like the tempations hit me from left and right such as colleagues and even restaurant servers encouraging me to have a drink and whatnot.  The full on sweet cravings haven't really hit me yet so I'm thankful for that. 

I'm fully aware that I'm not a fan of strength and conditioning training, but that's gonna have to change!  I met with a personal trainer last Saturday and he gave me a 10 minute mini-session.  Good grief, he was tough.  His services were very steep, but I'm gonna try to find a way to incorporate it into our budget and hopefully start things up in November.  I have alot of loose skin as a result of the weight loss and really need tighten up my stomach and arms.

Not sure if I'll keep the blog updated monthly or bi-weekly, but I'll continue to post updates of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Week Ten Update

Phentermine Week Ten

 

 

 

My intention was to update Saturday, but I ended up posting today.  I lost 6.5 lbs since my last photo update and so ecstatic with the progress.  It's relieving not having to deal with that constant bloated feeling and always feeling blah.  I have to admit that overall I feel great and still in disbelief!  Losing 36 pounds in a matter of 10 weeks is something I've never experienced, but I have to admit I have my concerns. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled tomorrow afternoon to check my blood pressure and to discuss whether or not I continue the final Phentermine 30 day dose.  I'm on the fence as to whether or not I should.  If it's affected my blood pressure, then I'll have no choice but to stop.  I first set my goal weight to 160 lbs.  I'm certain I'll meet it within 3 weeks if I remain on the medication, but I'm sorta curious to see if I could do it on my own.  BUT my biggest concern is if I will have any withdrawals once I'm off whether it's this week or after the yet-to-be determined final 30 day prescription.  The holidays are approaching...stress, indulgence, the whole nine yards!!   Praying for discipline...

 

Another thing is that I'm really strugging with the M-F 5X a week A.M. exercise regimen.  I was so busy last week with work and home that I only managed to work out twice.  Afternoons are completely out the question, and I avoid working out Saturdays because I have so much on my plate. Yesterday I was supposed to make an exception.  Despite my motiviation, I had so much to do yesterday and just couldn't find the time SMH!  I did work out today, but IDK...I rather not make it a habit and stick to the plan.  One thing for certain, the two times last week I did exercise were quality workouts.  A girlfriend suggested I tone up.  I told myself I would once I hit 165 lbs. and focus on the weight lifting to bring me down to 160 lbs. (maintaining from there.) That'll mean decreasing my cardio and upping the time for weight lifting.  I'm somewhat open to the idea.  I love the rush cardio gives because I find weightlifting dull, but maybe I'll have a change of heart if and when the time comes.