Reflection: Dealing with the Ups and Downs -- Literally and Figuratively

I took a moment to re-evaluate my recent eating patterns prior to taking the Phentermine and gained a little insight.  Convinced I have occasional short term memory, I'll often times jot my weight in my appointment calendar.  --Very useful when tracking possible progress.  My planner reflects the typical busy and stressful life of being parent, wife, and teacher...its sort of a "better than not using anything at all" method to keeping a handle on the pre-arranged chaos.  I'm very aware that there is a found connection of finding the time to exercise, not monitoring my caloric intake, unpredictable events, and my way of dealing with it all....which was that I emotionally ate to my poor heart's content! 

Flashback to late January 2013.  My weight was at 193.5 lbs, and I was disappointed (but forgiving) that I had gained roughly 25lbs. within 7 months!  Devastated, yes, but still convinced a new year would bring renewal and refocus!  I managed to lose 18 lbs. between late December 2011-May 2012, so I knew I could do it again.  Somehow or another I lost that refocus and ended up gaining another 3lbs two months later. 

Spring Break 2013, 195 lbs.

Still determined I told myself Spring Break would be a great time to solidify that exercise regimen.  I exercised but still not as often as needed.  My avoidance to do the tedious calorie counting didn't help my crusade whatsover, and I continued to gain.  So my weight during the entire month of April and May fluctuated between 204 and an unsteady 198.5 pounds. 

Still trying to remain OPTIMISTIC (there's that word again), I told myself June 2013 would be the perfect time to devote complete focus.  School's was out for summer break!  Sweet!  I have to confess that I was in complete denial regarding the reasons for the weight gain.  Convinced that it was primarily due to a surgical procedure done mid-January 2013.  There were even online forums with women claiming similar weight gain resulting from the same procedure.  The doctors claimed there was absolutely no connection, but I wasn't buying it.  Despite exercising at least 3X a week I continued to gain weight!

So now I'm perturbed!  Despite my amped up summer exercise regimen, the scale still steady crept up 8 lbs in a month's time!  I had become certain that I would average a 5 lb. weight gain per month, and crushed thinking there was nothing I would be able to do about it.  It all seems very vain I must admit, but carrying extra weight has always been discomforting.  I can't explain why emotional eating  has always been a source of comfort. I could never really find that happy medium, so instead I indulged and believed exercising alone would refrain excess weight gain.  The thing was that I never found the time to do enough exercise to make up for all that emotional eating!!

Some interesting things I now realize since starting the Phentermine was the severity of my eating habits.  I knew my diet wasn't perfect, but I didn't think it was that bad.  Afterall, I rarely ate fried foods or drank sodas, BUT I made up for it in other ways.  I LOVE bacon, sausage, sweet ice tea, sweet drinks, mexican food, snack foods like potato chips with french onion dip, treating myself to fresh frozen custard topped with chocolate toffee and nuts once or twice a week, and margaritas on my treasured no-kids allowed bi-weekly date nights just to list a few.

So VERY LONG STORY SHORT...

I calculated that in early July (pre-Phentermine)  my calories averaged 2110 per day and I burned about 450 exercise calories maybe 3-5 times a week.  Not too bad if I wanted to maintain 205 pounds, but I don't!  That's very excessive for someone wanting to lose weight.  I should've know better, but I now average 1090 calories per week and burn 500 exercise 5 days a week.  It seems like a great plan, but it's unhealthy.  I tire easily by evening and it's just unrealistic to maintain long term.  I've yet to learn, smh.  The thing with Phentermine is that it makes me to have to remind myself to eat, and I sometimes won't eat until I'm about ready to pass out!  In a sense that's not so bad because in the past I'd eat whether or not I was hungry, BUT truthfully its's bad because I can imagine overeating if an eating schedule isn't developed once the drug is out my system.  I must admit it's a relief to not be so food obsessed and having those intense cravings.  Those PMS cravings are always no joke.

My doctor's appointment is scheduled tomorrow to make sure there are no adverse affects from the Phentermine usage.  I have about 5 more days until my prescription runs out and not sure whether or not my doctor will allow me to continue another month.  Either way I will soon be on my own.  Summer Break is just about over and I will be reporting back to work soon and dealing with all the madness!  Only time will reveal my coping mechanisms.  I know I'm only human, but I have faith.  OAN, the PhentermineWeek 4 Update will be posted this Friday...